As coaches, we’re often praised for having the answers. Athletes come to us with performance problems—pregame nerves, in-game collapses, a mental block they can’t shake—and they expect us to fix it.

And if we’re honest, most of us love that.
We love being the expert. We love delivering the magic insight.
But that instinct to rush in and fix? It often does more harm than good.

One of the core tenets of the Soma Sport Coaching Framework is simple but often overlooked: Manage Your Own Energy. That means resisting that urge to insert yourself into the athlete’s process too quickly. It means trusting that, with the right support, they can access the wisdom of their own body—and often, their own solution.

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Mirror, Don’t Solve

In Somatic Experiencing, we learn to slow everything down. Rather than jump in with advice or analysis, we mirror. We use the client’s exact words—not our interpretation, not our reframe—so they don’t need to exit their experience to clarify or correct us.

It may look like we’re doing nothing. But mirroring creates space. It tells the nervous system:
🟢 You’re safe.
🟢 You’re being heard.
🟢 You don’t have to defend, explain, or perform.

It also helps the practitioner manage their own impulse to rush in and “help.”

I’ve learned that true presence often means saying less. It means staying curious. When I sit with athletes now, I try to listen deeply and reflect back their words. Then I’ll ask:

“When you feel that pressure, where do you notice it in your body?”

“Is it just before games that the jitters show up, or do they creep in during practice too?”

“What’s worked for you so far?”

These questions slow the moment down. They build trust. And they remind the athlete that they are not broken—they are in process.

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Trust the Body’s Wisdom

In somatic sessions with clients I’ll often ask, “If that part of your body could speak right now, what would it say?”

The answers are rarely trivial.

“Care for me.”
“Let me go.”
“Stop ignoring me.”
“Don’t do that thing you’re about to do.”

Whether it’s trapped survival energy or unspoken wisdom, the body will speak—if you’re patient enough to listen.

Coaching can be the same. The athlete’s body and nervous system often know exactly what’s going on. Your job isn’t to override it—it’s to help them hear it so they know what to do next.

The Trap of the Fixer

When an athlete hands you their problem, it’s tempting to hand back a solution.

But here’s what that reinforces:
👉 That the answers are outside of them.
👉 That someone else needs to fix them.
👉 That development is something that happens to them, not something they are in charge of.

Instead, slow everything down. Mirror. Ask questions. Sit in the unknown a little longer.

When an athlete discovers their own insight through your presence and curiosity, the buy-in is deeper. The transformation is real. And they’re more likely to trust themselves in the future.

Coaching Is Not Performing

There’s research that shows patient satisfaction in medicine correlates with one thing: how well the doctor listens. I believe the same is true in coaching.

Your presence matters more than your prescription.

The real work of becoming a somatic practitioner—and a great coach—is learning how to empty yourself of your own agenda. Bring your wisdom and experience, yes. But leave room for the athlete’s own process to unfold.

Slow it down. Mirror. Ask. Trust.

That’s how you help an athlete come home to themselves.

And that’s what managing your own energy really looks like.

Want to Coach This Way?

If this approach speaks to you—if you’re ready to coach with more presence, less pressure, and greater results—I’d love to talk.

I work with coaches and teams to integrate somatic principles into high-performance environments, helping athletes reconnect with the wisdom of their bodies.

Let’s build a culture where nervous system regulation, trust, and agency aren’t afterthoughts—they’re the foundation.

📩 Reach out to bring this work to your team.

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